Shopaholic? …… Moi? …… Well ….. YES!

Even though it is glamorized in popular media and culture being a compulsive buyer is not as fun as it is made to look in those depictions.

And yes I am a Shopaholic Fashionista. Admitting there is a problem is the first step to recovery they say. It is such a superficial addiction though but it can cause just as much damage as alcohol or drug addiction. It is often linked with other disorders and other self-destructive behaviors.

Have I tried to get help, yes but I never got any for that specific issue, I am in therapy for low self-esteem and confidence as well as major depression. And it is true that when better I shop less so there is definitely a link there but I am no psychiatrist just a patient of one. Those are People around me are noticing that I buy a lot, too much, all the time. I am always broke but lucky I can’t get approved for credit cards or bank overdraft. I can’t begin to imagine how far in debt I would be if I could.

When I daydream about winning the jackpot at the lottery, not that I ever buy tickets, I know I’d go on a major shopping spree to designers flagship stores and deny myself nothing so that the whole winnings would probably be gone in a few hours. It is hard to imagine for those not afflicted but no matter how much I earn or how much money I have in my pocket or on my bank account I always spend it all to the last cents in a half a day.

I buy something every day, even on a trip to the grocery store gives me occasions to purchase items that I don’t need and will probably never use. No matter how I feel I shop, when I’m stressed, sad, relaxed, happy, tired, well-rested. If I can’t make it to a store then I shop online. So what do I spend my money on: clothes, shoes, jewelry make-up, skincare, fragrance, books and fashion magazines, I used to have subscriptions to all the major US ones.

I have too many clothes and shoes that still have the tag on, some do not even fit me. How many times have I bought a new face cream, shade of nail polish or lipstick to get home and discover I already own one just like it. Flea markets, thrift stores, clearances racks and yard sales send me into an uncontrollable buying frenzy. What I don’t waste money on: services, lingerie and home décor.

So what happens when I don’t shop, I get bored and depressed and feel very antsy. Why do I shop, what do I get out of it a short high and then a lot of guilty feelings and anxiety.

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